If you haven’t heard of the poem “Waving not Drowning” by Stevie Smith in 1972, then you really ought to look it up.  Here, I’ll do it for you:

Nobody heard him, the dead man,
But still he lay moaning:
I was much further out than you thought
And not waving but drowning.

Poor chap, he always loved larking
And now he's dead
It must have been too cold for him his heart gave way,
They said.

Oh, no no no, it was too cold always
(Still the dead one lay moaning)
I was much too far out all my life
And not waving but drowning.

That’s how I’m feeling as of late.  Every time I thought of updating the blog over the past few months, I started to panic with the long list of things that I haven’t written about, or topics that I haven’t told you about…. Let’s face it, I’ve been a horrible Blog Date, as of late.  The realities of my schedule are such that a post every day is just not possible, but I can  aim for a post a week.  hey, aim low and shoot hight, right?  Or is it the other way around?  Either way, I think it’s time I get back in the saddle and use this space as the outlet that it used to be for me.  I’m not assigning a specific day of the week for the posts, so you’ll have to stay on your toes! 

Once I scrub the rust off, maybe once a week won’t be enough.  Let’s hope.

Tags: Updates

A lot has happened in this past month.  Some were great things (yay for family visits, promotions, and ladder climbing in a job I actually love!), but many more were not-so-great things, and while I’ll probably write a post about losing Hamlet, I can’t yet.  It’s not for lack of trying, it’s just that once I start writing, my computer screen blurs and takes on this awkward watery vibe, and I have to stop because if I continue it only gets worse.  I’ll see about getting that fixed. 

In the mean time, I’ve found some things that have brought some joy to my world over these past few weeks, and I hope they bring as much joy to you.

• Stuff No One Told Me (but I learned anyway):

Stuff no One Told Me (but I learned anyway)

• I Am Your Canadian Boyfriend:

• Cassie Boorn’s 20-Something Self Letters:

This one has no fun image to go along with it, but it sure did capture my attention when I found it through a downward spiral of link-clicking.  Back on May 22, 2010, Cassie put a call out to women to share their wisdom with other young women.  The concept is for you to write a letter to your 20-year-old self.  It can be advice, warning, inspiration, whatever… but one thing I’ve found in reading each of the ones submitted is that they are always interesting and always touching.  I have been thinking of composing my own and sending it over.  Maybe you should too. 

Random note:

I miss writing fiction. A lot. The characters have gone quiet on the stage, and they’re growing weary from the wait.  I must remedy that soon.

Tags: Inspiring, Linky Goodness, Things that amuse me, Updates

… What is “A place you don’t want to find yourself at night, Alex?”….

Here’s what I remember…

• Scraggly, old, skinny, sunburned monk leading me through
• A shadow-filled Gothic cathedral lit by tea-light 20’s spotlights and candles with mazes of side corridors and staircases lit by torches
• A baptismal font being used as a water fountain and waterfall for  a potted plant that was pampered because it had “consciousness”
• A stage within the cathedral adorned and built as though it were renovated to be used as a performance hall or vaudeville stage
• Balconies full of eager performers all dressed more or less from the 20s and 30s. (This is where it all turned very strangely Noir-ish)
• Two exaggerated caricature hosts/judges of an audition for a musical performance TV show or movie. They were picking audience members at random (Let’s Make A Deal style) to perform complex choreography and musical numbers on the spot, without preparation (causing quite a bit of anxiety).  Failures were met with Hulk sized bodyguards ushering them to the stage where they were beaten and tortured for the audience’s pleasure (and there were plenty of cheers and applause)
• An abusive “agent/boyfriend” of one performer in a Sam Spade hat and trench coat, and a seer sucker suit smoking and spinning a gun
• A performer in a red and black sequined costume with short black bobbed hair who was threatened by the boyfriend to be perfect when she was selected by the hosts to sing a solo
• A surreal moment of realization that the female performer couldn’t sing “the Cell Block Tango” because I hadn’t submitted permissions requests to use it in a dream sequence, and I hadn’t checked my budget for the dream to estimate copyright costs
• A Tarantino-style murder of the Abusive agent/boyfriend by the female performer (who was singing one line from the Chicago tune over and over — “He had it comin’…” (that’s all she could sing before I would have to pay to use the song)
• a Very graphic, bloody, and sound-rich pistol whipping of the boyfriend in the balcony by the female performer.  Blood splattered on the camera lens as it focused in on a shot of his wide brimmed hat splashed with blood
• Applause sign blinking, with three letters partially burned out
• All of this occurred as a musical with running music and every word sung Broadway style.

See what it’s like in my head when I’m asleep?  I usually have pretty lucid dreams, but this was just… bizarre.  I have a lot on my mind, so I’m not surprised that my dreams are becoming more and more …. odd.

I’m woefully behind on updates here, too.  I’ve been incredibly busy, and I have a number of things that I am aiming to post, and hopefully I’ll get to them this week, or this weekend.  If not, I’ll just pick up as usual and go from there. 

Here’s to hoping I can carve out some time!

Tags: Dreams, Updates