…and…

“Perfectionism is a refusal to let yourself move ahead. It is a loop–an obsessive, debilitating closed system that causes you to get stuck in the details of what you are writing or painting or making and to lose sight of the whole.  Instead of creating freely and allowing errors to reveal themselves later as insights, we often get mired in getting the details right. We correct our originality into a uniformity that lacks passion and spontaneity. ‘Do not fear mistakes,’ Miles David told us. ‘There are none.’” 

~ Julia Cameron, The Artist’s Way

Carry on, then…

Tags: Advice, QotD, randomness

Dear Alexis,

Hi there.  You don’t know me, but I know your Mom.  As it stands, I am poised to know a lot of people’s moms here soon, but I chose you to write to because of a few very simple reasons.  First, the other little ones running around don’t have the letter “I” in their name (Some are still on the way, so we’ll see).  Second, I’ve been following your escapades since your mom and I started playing softball together, and I already see what’s coming down the chute.  Third, soon you’ll start to believe that your parents know nothing and that anything they might say that a stranger says (especially one who shares a shoe appreciation) instantly becomes more valuable coming from said stranger’s mouth.  So think of this as an early college-years intervention.  Print it out, tuck it away, or ask mom to keep it and to give it to you on that day you move into your first dorm room. 

So here are 10 things you need to know and remember:

1. Clowns are evil.  Trust me on this.  I know they might make you laugh, and that their silly antics and bright costumes might seem like bottled baby giggles.  That’s because they are.  Evil, I say.  Evil.  Give a clown a chance and the first minute your mom is looking the other direction he’ll snatch your soul right out of you.  Mimes are okay, as long as they don’t stare. Then they might be serial killers.  Never trust anyone who wears make up.  That’ll become very poignant when boys show up on your radar. 
2. Everything is a test.  Even when you think no one is looking, they are.  And they’re judging you. They’re tallying your appearance and behaviors in order to pigeon hole you into a stereotype.  Once you understand this, you can use it to your advantage. 
3. Ladies don’t do shots.  Sure you might partake in some raucous behavior-who hasn’t?  But know that if you’re out with friends in a place full of strangers, and you’re pounding back shots that people are making assumptions about you.  You could be dressed like a professional prima donna, and they’ll think you’re desperate.  Show some skin and take some shots and you’re suddenly fair game for a fling.  You can say “what other people think doesn’t matter” and that will be true until you pound some shots and puke in public in front of the person you have to interview with for a new job and they recognize you from the previous weekend.  Just know who you’re with and be safe, okay?
4. Using hearts and smiley faces to dot the “I” in your name isn’t cute-it makes you look like an air head, which we both know you aren’t.  People won’t take you seriously, so don’t do it.  You could be a brilliant doctor or teacher and if the first impression of you is a “cute as can be” heart over your name or on anything you are connected to, you have a long way to regain credibility.   



5. Pink is the color of female oppression.  (I say this in that “kinda-joking-kinda-not” sort of way.)  Why do you think Barbie is packaged in Pink and not Blue?  Don’t worry, you’ll understand once you start reading social and literary theory in college. (Call me, we’ll talk.)  You don’t have to wear pink or ruffles to be feminine.  You don’t have to even look feminine if you don’t want.  But be yourself (yes, even if it means pink is your “black.” Your mom and I will likely go into convulsions, but if it makes you happy, go for it). 
6. Having a passion is healthy as long as it’s under control.  Your love of shoes is marvelous, as long as it doesn’t put you in debt or take over your life.  If you decide to max out your charge cards to buy new clothes and shoes every season and neglect to pay your bills, you might have a problem.  And if you start to skip classes to play WoW for 12 hours at a time, seek help.  Everything in moderation, dear.
7. Heartbreak doesn’t last forever.  That boy you love in 5^th period biology who dumped you will probably end up regretting it for the rest of his life.  He’ll remember you in years to come when you’re happily married to your dream man with 2.5 kids and a dog.  It hurts now, sure, but remember that every relationship you have teaches you a little more about what it is that makes you happy and what doesn’t.  You’ll realize this at your first reunion.
8. Value yourself.  Don’t let the decisions of others destroy your self confidence.  If you are underappreciated at a job, do something about it.  Leave!  If you are unhappy in a relationship, leave!  If a friendship proves to be toxic, end it.  Only you can set your own value.  Jobs, loves, and friends come and go.  You deserve to be happy; sometimes that means compromise and sometimes that means knowing when to cut ties and move on.  Life hurts, but knowing who you are and valuing yourself will make it that much easier.  So will chocolate, a good book, and shoes.
9. Dream Big.  Don’t ever let anyone tell you you can’t do something.  When you dream big other people want to throw negativity your way, but don’t let that stop you.  Believe in yourself and your abilities and to hell with everyone else.  If you want something, go after it.  Don’t be content with second best, and don’t settle for average.  When the rest of your peers are content to just get a trophy for participation, your hard work and desire will set you apart from the rest.  Be careful, though, because people will see that as a threat.  Be ready for that.
10. Your parents love you.  You’ll probably go through some rough patches with your parents, as all teens do.  And you might even think that they’re out to crush your dreams and trying to ruin your cool status.  In truth, they’ve been through the gauntlet already and they just want to save you from any mistakes or pain you might encounter.  You can’t fault them for that.  They love you.  One day you’ll realize that your mom and dad aren’t as dumb as you think they are, and that they made incredible sacrifices for your happiness.  On that day, you need to find a way to go hug both of them and tell them you love them too.  Don’t forget to say Thank You.

You’ve got an amazing life full of highs and lows ahead of you, and I can only imagine what your world will be like when all of this finally makes sense to you.  Remember to learn from both the good and bad situations you encounter and your road won’t be so bumpy.  Now go put on your favorite froggy boots, grab your finger paints, and start chasing those dreams!

Best,

Dawn

Tags: Bloggers, Letters, randomness

I have Blogger’s Block.  Those of you who know me personally know that me being at a loss for words is bizarre.  Usually I know exactly what I want to write about, but seeing as I’ve been posting pretty consistently, it was bound to come to pass that I would just blank out.  Part of the problem, I think, is that I have a number of ideas buzzing around in my head for short stories, poems, and topics for further research, but those are all quite different from a blog post.  I suppose it is the very bane of the creative mind.

So rather than giving a list of coherent, logical items, I’m going to list the things that are occupying my attentions in conflicting ways:

• Season 2 of The Tudors starts on Sunday night.  Why did the writers of the Tudors conflate Margaret and Mary?  I understand that you can’t include every member of the Tudor line, but by eliminating the individual histories  of Henry VIII’s sisters, you essentially eliminate the possibility of the birth of, and Elizabeth I’s later conflict with, her cousin Mary Queen of Scots.  I guess this goes to show just how far into the future the writers are actually thinking.  I hope they have a plan, because if they get to the end of the series and suddenly realize that, “whoops!” they seriously screwed up history, and they just make up some connection, I’ll be livid.
• What if we could subscribe to weather like we do RSS feeds, or purchase a weather service like a cell phone plan?  It would be constantly visible to the subscriber, and only visible to other who are within a certain radius.  What would a busy street down town look like?  Which types of weather would be in highest demand?  What conflicts would arise because of this technology?  How would it effect the social psyche?  (See?  Completely strange, I know.  This is actually the kernel of a short story I was outlining today.)
• I miss interactively writing.  I’ve been thinking about trying to get a turn based story going with anyone willing to participate.  It’s a pretty simple concept, really.  One person starts and writes a scene/few paragraphs and tags someone to pick it up from there.  Each person is able to embellish on history, plot development, twists, new character interaction, etc.  The outcome could be a lot of fun, but with every one’s busy schedules, I don’t know how it would work. 
• I’m almost finished with the first part of my translation/modernization of a play from 1608.  Should I wait to contact a publishing company before doing the annotation and glossing?  Would it be better to have finished that research before I take it to an academic publisher?  How am I going to get my hands on some of the source material I need without going to England?

That’s just a quick sampling of what’s been muddying my brain today.  It’s not glorious, and it’s not exceptional, but it’s the way my mind works.  One topic jumps to the next, and usually there is some weird series of obscure connections to link Topic A to Topic B, but not always.  The conclusion?  I think too much.

Write well,

~Dawn

Tags: lists, randomness