So I was supposed to start this massive new diet on Monday to prepare for my brother’s wedding.  Monday ended up being my “last day of decadence” and I planned to start Tuesday.  yesterday was almost successful (I guess?  Maybe?) but I could not resist the call of Girl Scout peanut Butter Cookies…. Vile Temptresses!  So I’ve had to rewind and do some thinking and evaluating,  and thus, I’ve come to a number of realizations:

1. I hate dieting.
2. I know nothing about dieting.
3. I have a difficult time telling the difference between bullshit claims and real “science.”
4. The only times I ever lost weight before were by accident, and it was a mix of severe stress, anxiety, and workaholism.  Oh, or having a hospital worthy illness.  I’m not particularly interested in reviving any of the above.
5. I did accidentally lose 20 lbs in undergrad by eating only soup… but that was far from intentional, and I’m not sure it would work again.
6. I am WAY LESS ACTIVE than I used to be.  Running between colleges to teach, sleeping 2-3 hours a night, and being a college athlete kept me pretty fit.  The last serious activity I had was YinzTeam softball, and I broke a bone.  Absurd.
7. I know I have to start exercising, but actually doing it is the problem.  I find it boring.  Like REALLY boring.  Can’t I just play a video game and have it shave off pounds?  Ahh… welcome back Wii Steve! (Maybe the Jillian Michaels Wii work out too? Anyone try this?)
8. I need advice from people who actually dieted and had success.
9. I do not want to give up butter.  I don’t think I can do it.  Sugar, I can cut way back on.  Butter? … Not a chance.  You can tell me to eliminate all butter from my diet, and I will nod and say “Ok” and within 48 hours (if that) I’ll be eating butter because I can’t resist. 
10. I’ve been hesitant to discuss this for a lot of reasons:  embarrassment, fear of family and friends judging me, admitting it openly means it’s really necessary, and just general “Oh wow, did you see Dawn gained some weight?” apprehensions.  Well, tough.  I need to buck up and do it, and if I’m going to do it, I need support from family and friends.  It’s SO much easier for me to rationalize not exercising, and not eating healthier if I’m the only one I would be accountable to.  I have a blog and connections to tons of friends, readers, and utter strangers…. why not use them for support & accountability?

So forgive me for volunteering you for this job, but how often do you have someone asking you to crack the whip?  Yeah, yeah, I know I should only care about my health, and being accountable to myself “because that’s what really matters,” but let’s face it folks… That’s just not me.  Yes, I want to wear my cute little bikinis again, but I’m a hermit at heart.   My cholesterol is still high (I’m assuming) and my waist line now puts me at a high risk for heart disease.  Considering my family history, I can’t afford to put this off any longer.  Not if I want to live a long, happy life with kids and a retirement on a beach somewhere. So I need some help, otherwise I’ll end up  burrowing in to a library and 20 years from now you’ll need to get me out with a  crane. 

What diet strategies have worked for you?  What has NOT worked?  What would you recommend for me?  I need to lose at least 20 pounds (max 30) in 9 months and lower my cholesterol.  I’m aiming to start Monday January 14th, full throttle.  I’m edging my way toward dieting, like slowly getting in to a cold pool.  I figure that i have 9 months, and if one thing doesn’t seem to be working, I have time for another strategy.  And, you know, if it doesn’t work, I can always get liposuction in October.  (I kid, I kid!  …. maybe)

The forum is yours folks, and all answers are welcome. 

**Day 1 completely cigarette free.**

Tags: diet, Health, My Life, Updates