Yesterday morning I left my house for work and on my door handle was a plastic bag with a container and a note:  “Dear Dawn:  I promise I’ll make you more!  Love, ******”  The container was full of my favorite kind of home made cookie–Oatmeal Raisin.   WIN!  My neighbor is a superb baker and she baked me some cookies for no real reason at all.  I was thrilled, and very grateful.  I mean, come on, COOKIES!!!

So I take the cookies with me to work figuring that they will go well with my coffee.  I shared a few with my boss and after devouring a handful I put the closed container on the side of my desk.  I didn’t mention the cookies to anyone else in the office.  Hey, I’m not sharing my cookies with people who are un-cookie-worthy.  If you generally make my eye twitch just by breathing, you, then, get no cookies.  That seems fairly simple.  I was considering taking my cookies home, but decided to leave them at work so I could have them in the morning again.  I felt secure that my cookies would be safe there.  Why wouldn’t they be?

I walked in to work this morning to find my co-workers wiping crumbs from their faces.  When they saw me, they smiled nervously and immediately I knew I was about to have a meltdown (Usually I can at least get to my desk before the stupidity threatens to melt my brain into grey slime.  Usually).  Before I could even ask, this is what I was greeted with:

“Oh… Dawn!  Your cookies are so good with coffee.  We had to have them with coffee this morning.  They are perfect with coffee.”

and

“Dawn, I have to say those cookies taste just like the kind my Grandmother used to make.  They are amazing.  She’s right, they are perfect with coffee…”

Okay. 

FIRST…. what gives you the right to just prance yourselves over to MY desk and take something that doesn’t belong to you?  A pen?  Fine.  A folder?  Fine too.  Those are things that are relatively innocuous and general community property.  But food?!  MY FOOD?!  ON MY DESK?!  WHO DOES THAT?!  There is a general common area in our small office where if we want to share goodies, we put them there and let everyone know they are welcome to partake in the yumminess, but my cookie container was not in this area, and I had never said, “Hey y’all, help yourself to some delicious, delicious home made cookies!”  No.  No I did not. 

Second… If there’s one person that girly giggling and “playing dumb” doesn’t work with, it’s me.  In fact, it makes me even angrier when someone twirls their hair and acts like they didn’t know better.  Even if you’re genuinely that way I don’t consider you exempt… that kind of behavior is embarrassing and, quite frankly, I don’t associate with people who revel in being stupid.  So please, save me your act.

Third… Don’t think this is the end of this.  Since desks and personal items are now fair game, don’t be surprised when you find your stuff missing or used.  It might not be today, of course, but one day soon you’ll find that the delicious lunch your boyfriend made for you, or that you packed yourself the night before, is gone… Oops!  MY BAD… I didn’t realize that wasn’t Community Property!  I know it was in the refrigerator/on YOUR desk, but SO WERE MY COOKIES….

 Oh…. it’s on.

Tags: rants, WHO DOES THAT?!, WTF?! Wednesdays