PILLOW TALK… AND…. STUFF…

An Article in the NY Times on July 21, 2009 entitled “Love in 2-D” (how did I miss that before now?) does some investigative journalism into the phenomenon of otaku culture in Japan — The romantic involvement of adult men with 2-D characters from video games/manga/comics.  They’re ranked on a scale, depending on how intense the relationship is (guys who still have hope for a 3-D relationship with an actual woman are ranked a mere 1, while the other end of the scale are the men who have taken to carrying body pillows with the image of their “girlfriend” with them everywhere.  And ordering food for them at restaurants). 

This is an actual movement.  People have given up on relationships with living beings and decided to devote themselves to body pillows with the image of a character on it.  If nothing else, please click over to the article to see the picture of the man interviewed with this pillow.  It’s very…. unsettling.  People routinely descry the dangers of the Internet and how it slowly erodes and eventually destroys the social competency of already backward, shy, or socially awkward individuals, and this kind of mentality and lifestyle just take those potential dysfunctions to a whole new level. 

Honda, the “Guru of the 2-D Love movement” claims that:

“Pure love is completely gone in the real world [...] As long as you train your imagination, a 2-D relationship is much more passionate than a 3-D one.”

Sound outrageous?  Remember when folks were getting divorces for affairs in Second Life?  Who could have a connection with another human being that they aren’t in the same room with, let alone the same city, state, or country?   Crazy, right?  In the past two to three years, more “relationship” advice columns, magazines, and sites have devoted substantial space to addressing these kinds of relationships.  Wonder if you’re in danger of having an affair by simply being on Facebook?  There are plenty of self assessments for that.   Worried that you’re too emotionally attached to someone online?  Could you be having an emotional affair?  There are  explanations, definitions, and assessments for that too.   But it doesn’t stop there.  Pop “forgive emotional affair” into any search engine and you’ll wind up with well over 50,000 articles, sites, and advice columns on how to deal with it and move forward, and in some cases how to tell him or her to take a hike.

What defined relationships before the Internet age (and still do, in my opinion) are the personal connections that are made and maintained. Having physical interaction certainly doesn’t dictate the presence of a relationship… the emotional and personal attachment and interaction between people decides that.  While there isn’t opportunity for the physical aspect of a relationship, the emotional, psychological, and personal attraction and connections are most definitely there (and the physical absense seems to make some people think “it doesn’t really count” when, in fact, it sometimes counts more than the physical relationship they find themselves in at the time).  Talk to the women and men in any forum or chat room that have been burned by those kinds of “relationships.” Certainly the people who break up or divorce because of these relationships don’t see them as child’s play, or silly, or irrelevant.  Why then, is it surprising that people alone, rejected, socially awkward, beaten down, or in miserable relationships seek out people they can “shut off” if they have to through an online relationship?   How surprised should we actually be that some individuals have taken that possibility for a perfect relationship online to the next level– a perfect relationship with an inanimate object who can’t leave you, can’t argue, can’t complain, can’t do anything that even the online/Facebook/Myspace/Chatroom/TextMessaging/IMing versions can do. 

Is it healthy?  I don’t think I’m equipped to say one way or another (Hey, is it healthier to succumb to abject depression and self loathing because you can’t or haven’t found someone, or is it healthier to create the illusion of that love to bolster your self esteem and self worth?).  I can only say that for me, no.  It’s not.  I have some social anxiety, but I just can’t ever see myself or anyone I know, online or off, for that matter, throwing up my hands and committing myself to a pillow.  Seriously.  If I ever did that, please be sure to visit me in one of the Wards I’m sure they’d place me in.

Honestly, how surprised are you that this is going on?

I have decided that if I were to attempt time travel I would definitely take a notebook and pencil.  In the past, depending on how far back I went, such luxuries wouldn’t be readily available (parchment was costly), and in the future because I’d want whatever I was taking records of my visit with to be able to work in whatever “here and now” I return to.  Why a pencil?  With my luck, the pen would clog or break.  Or both.  You can always sharpen a pencil.

*****

It bothers me that the Latte cups from McDonalds don’t have a seam on the lip.  Every other To-Go coffee cup with a lid has one, but McDonalds doesn’t.  Do they think they’re better than everyone else?  They don’t need a seam?  Oh yeah?  Well how the hell am I supposed to know I’m putting the travel lid on correctly?  Hmm?  Everyone knows that at Dunkin Donuts and Starbucks, and every gas station you’ve ever been to to procure coffee for the road, you align the seam to the back of the lid opposite from where the opening is to drink from.  This prevents spills and uneven flow.  It also prevents the lid from popping off unexpectedly.  How am I supposed to know which way to put the lid on?!? 

While we’re on travel coffee cups, I might as well note that when the lid is put on incorrectly I have to adjust the lid myself or it drives me to distraction.  Even if it’s not mine.  What is the correct way?  Seam in the back and in line with the opening to drink from on the opposite side of the cup.  This becomes problematic, though, when the lid is placed on correctly, and the opening from which you are to drink is off-center from the pattern and logos on the actual cup.  Was the print shop just lazy?  How hard is it to center graphics? Doesn’t the company care that they’re off-handedly dismissing someone’s hard work that went in to designing that cup just so?  These issues become irrelevant, though, when a protective sleeve is provided with a logo.  I can forgive ignore this error in printing by placing the logo on the sleeve in line with the drinking opening.  Simple solution.  Problem solved. 

*****

People who go out of their way to talk down to others or criticize from a “superior position of knowledge” and still use “there/their/they’re” and “then/than” incorrectly make me want to pinch their nose in a grammar primer.  Do it once– you’re skating on thin ice; twice, and I can’t help but categorize you.  A colleague of mine once said that everyone has small clues or cues in the way they speak that give away their background and attention to detail.  His theory (well, not just his… it’s been talked about quite a bit across the field) is that language is the great truth revealer.  I’m reminded of a well known, well respected scholar who intimidated everyone in his field with his brilliance and heated debating style.  When I heard him speak and he not only misused “then/than,” but also mispronounced “Economics” multiple times, I just sat back and smirked along with the others who noticed the same things.  It was as if the Red Sea had parted and suddenly there were two classifications of people in the conference room–those who saw through him, and those who didn’t.  Ahhh, the trifles of Academia…

*****

Wii Fit said my Wii Fit Age was 42.  I called it a lying @%&#!%  and had another cookie. 

That’s what I wanted to do, anyway… Instead I immediately started practicing balance games to try and please my tiny box of plastic, fluorescent lights, and microchips.  Slave to technology, indeed.

It’s been a very long few days and due to the cloudiness of my brain from pain medicine, difficulty sleeping, ankle pain, and general WTF?!  of the 7 days, I can’t even muster the mental acumen to coherently rant about things that are on my nerves this week.  Shocking, I know.  So you’ll have to wait to hear me twitch over Celebrity Circus (though, I have to admit, that Silks performance that Antonio Sabato Jr. did was hot, y’all), The Hoff’s constant choking on the foot in his mouth on America’s Got Talent, and the annoyingly obvious formulaic nature of most reality shows on TV.  And don’t even get me started on the Baby Borrowers (I hate reality TV… why am I watching these things to begin with?! I’m blaming it on the pain meds).  But all of that will have to wait until it no longer feels like I’m thinking through molasses.

So instead of a rant today, you get a smattering of  optical illusions to torture yourselves with.  Have at it!

Watch the center dot.  Move your head toward and away from the screen and watch the wheels turn.

It isn’t as easy as you thought, is it?

I don’t know why, but this image has always disturbed me…

Don’t look at this too long… you’ll have a seizure…

**Images taken from Weird Picture Archive.  If you’re into creepy, disturbing, possibly gag-reflex inducing images, browse around this site.  I just hope none of those images make their way into my dreams tonight.**