Archive for the ‘Diet & Health’ Category

7
Jan

Velociraptors and Oatmeal

   Posted by: Dawn Tags: , , , ,

We’re all friends here, right?  Well mostly… I mean, if we were being chased by a zombie hoard of children, koalas, and ex-performers, I wouldn’t trip you to get away….

… okay, that’s a lie… I would absolutely, totally, most likely,  might possibly trip you if we were being chased.  It all depends on whether or not you sent me a valentine as a kid.  Wow, that sucks, doesn’t it?  Too late now… there’s no correcting it.  Just accept it and prepare for the worst.  I suggest watching Thriller and the Night of the Living Dead for accurate preparation. 

But since you obviously cared enough to send me one of those perforated, one-sided, wallet-sized, popular cartoon character valentines as a kid, I can share these fun items with you! 

As I recently posted on Facebook, The Oatmeal is fast becoming a favorite site of mine to get a quick pick me up.  If you haven’t checked it out, you really ought to.  You’ll thank me.  Promise.  Some of my favorites are:

 

How long could you survive chained to a bunk bed with a velociraptor?

Created by Oatmeal

 

And of course, I would be doing you a great disservice if I didn’t mention another one of my new favorite sites, Badassoftheweek.com!  Some of my favorites: 

 

And just so you don’t think I’m trying to slyly distract you from my goals, I’ve joined Livestrong.com to track my calorie intake (You can see my profile and progress here) and burn off through exercise, and everyone’s comments and emails helped me tremendously yesterday!  So thank you!  I’ll be incorporating much of what you all said into what I’m attempting, and, in fact, I already have after everyone called me on putting it off until Monday!  Great job cracking the whip already, y’all! 

 

**Day 2 Smoke Free.  it’s hard.  Really hard.  But it’s worth it!**

 

ROLL TIDE!!!

ROLL TIDE!!!

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6
Jan

What’s this about butter?

   Posted by: Dawn Tags: , , ,

So I was supposed to start this massive new diet on Monday to prepare for my brother’s wedding.  Monday ended up being my “last day of decadence” and I planned to start Tuesday.  yesterday was almost successful (I guess?  Maybe?) but I could not resist the call of Girl Scout peanut Butter Cookies…. Vile Temptresses!  So I’ve had to rewind and do some thinking and evaluating,  and thus, I’ve come to a number of realizations:

  1. I hate dieting.
  2. I know nothing about dieting.
  3. I have a difficult time telling the difference between bullshit claims and real “science.”
  4. The only times I ever lost weight before were by accident, and it was a mix of severe stress, anxiety, and workaholism.  Oh, or having a hospital worthy illness.  I’m not particularly interested in reviving any of the above.
  5. I did accidentally lose 20 lbs in undergrad by eating only soup… but that was far from intentional, and I’m not sure it would work again.
  6. I am WAY LESS ACTIVE than I used to be.  Running between colleges to teach, sleeping 2-3 hours a night, and being a college athlete kept me pretty fit.  The last serious activity I had was YinzTeam softball, and I broke a bone.  Absurd.
  7. I know I have to start exercising, but actually doing it is the problem.  I find it boring.  Like REALLY boring.  Can’t I just play a video game and have it shave off pounds?  Ahh… welcome back Wii Steve! (Maybe the Jillian Michaels Wii work out too? Anyone try this?)
  8. I need advice from people who actually dieted and had success.
  9. I do not want to give up butter.  I don’t think I can do it.  Sugar, I can cut way back on.  Butter? … Not a chance.  You can tell me to eliminate all butter from my diet, and I will nod and say “Ok” and within 48 hours (if that) I’ll be eating butter because I can’t resist. 
  10. I’ve been hesitant to discuss this for a lot of reasons:  embarrassment, fear of family and friends judging me, admitting it openly means it’s really necessary, and just general “Oh wow, did you see Dawn gained some weight?” apprehensions.  Well, tough.  I need to buck up and do it, and if I’m going to do it, I need support from family and friends.  It’s SO much easier for me to rationalize not exercising, and not eating healthier if I’m the only one I would be accountable to.  I have a blog and connections to tons of friends, readers, and utter strangers…. why not use them for support & accountability?

So forgive me for volunteering you for this job, but how often do you have someone asking you to crack the whip?  Yeah, yeah, I know I should only care about my health, and being accountable to myself “because that’s what really matters,” but let’s face it folks… That’s just not me.  Yes, I want to wear my cute little bikinis again, but I’m a hermit at heart.   My cholesterol is still high (I’m assuming) and my waist line now puts me at a high risk for heart disease.  Considering my family history, I can’t afford to put this off any longer.  Not if I want to live a long, happy life with kids and a retirement on a beach somewhere. So I need some help, otherwise I’ll end up  burrowing in to a library and 20 years from now you’ll need to get me out with a  crane. 

What diet strategies have worked for you?  What has NOT worked?  What would you recommend for me?  I need to lose at least 20 pounds (max 30) in 9 months and lower my cholesterol.  I’m aiming to start Monday January 14th, full throttle.  I’m edging my way toward dieting, like slowly getting in to a cold pool.  I figure that i have 9 months, and if one thing doesn’t seem to be working, I have time for another strategy.  And, you know, if it doesn’t work, I can always get liposuction in October.  (I kid, I kid!  …. maybe)

The forum is yours folks, and all answers are welcome. 

 

**Day 1 completely cigarette free.**

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